Mallrats quotes
Mallrats :Silent Bob: Adventure, excitement... a Jedi craves not these things. Quoting Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back :Jay: You take a run at LaFours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back out humpin your mom last night, neuge. :TS: But they're engaged. :TS: Why Not? It's bound to come up. :Brodie:It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child? :TS: Sure, why not? :Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him. :Jay: I attack the structure Wolvie Berzerk style, and knock out the fuckin' pin and bickety bam, the motherfucker is rubble. Hence, no game show. :Brodie: Shall I call you 'Logan', Weapon X? :Brodie: Touch not, lest ye be touched. (Referring to his comic collection) :TS: It gets worse, I was gonna propose to her. :Brodie: Where? :TS: The Universal Tour. :Brodie: You're kidding, what part? :TS: When jaws pops out of the water. :Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. :Fortune Teller: Free yur mind. . . :Brodie: I'd like to free somthing. . . :Fortune Teller: Fucus! :Brodie: Just what I was thinking. :Brodie: How's that for romantic? Passionate, yea. . . :Rene: I'd call that too little too late. :Brodie: Too little?!?!? You said it was a good size! :Rene: The effort, you moron, but now that you mention it, when a girl says, "it's a good size", it a fancy way of saying it's small. :Brodie:Hey! :Gwen: Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds? :Brodie, TS: Except for the moustache. :Brodie: I'd make a sexy chick! :Rene: I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your *#$! with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious #$%^ing disappointment! :Brodie: I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that. :Gil: Who the hell did you see me kiss? :Brodie: Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was but he seemed unimpressed. :Gil: I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay. :Brodie: Hey, Suitorette, this guys a homophobe. You heard how repulsed he sounded. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with? This hate-monger? :Gil: I don't hate gay people. :Brodie: So you love them? :Gil: Yes. I mean no. :Brodie: Textbook closet case self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality. : Jay: Come son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ehehehehe! Category:Lists Category:Quotes Category:Female